Another Rendition
by Samantha Bridges
Summary: One shot: Once more, Emily lets loose with her singing ability, much to the amusement of Hannibal. Can't really blame Karma for this one, but Saavik did help. R&R if you so desire.


Hmmmm, now is there anyway I can blame this on Karma? Nope, don't think so… But, hey, I can try, it just wouldn't be a parody without her. So anyway, here we go, again. Special thanks to Saavik. Okey dokey, normal disclaimers: the GD is NOT mine (how sad), Emily is mine (How good), and the song is borrowed, in unadulterated from, from the Bare Naked Ladies. Here we go, dear ones…

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The temptation had been too much as she had walked through the store aisles, with Mischa riding on the front of the cart and little Allie seated back with her mother. The day had been long and hot, and thoroughly miserable as she had dealt with what she deemed to be rather whiny patients. She had offered to do the shopping for dinner, but the girls were trying her patience as they made their way through the store. It seemed to call to her, reminding her of a life long left behind. Had it actually been eight years since she had tasted such a thing? The answer had been yes, so the forbidden item landed in the cart. Now, she sat in the living room, humming along with the stereo as she waited her husband's rather late arrival. Soon enough, she heard the garage door open and the door to the house open seconds after that. The look on his face was definitely one of distaste as he looked at her occupation of the living room. An empty pint of vanilla ice cream sat in the coffee table, along with a bag of pretzels. Two empty cans of Budweiser lay in the floor, a third on the coffee table, and the fourth in her hands. He grimaced as she offered the can out to him.

"Want a sip, Han?" He shook his head and she persisted. "Just a little sip, come on Hanni."

"Hanni?" an eyebrow raised.

"Han, Hanni, Hannibal… Sip?"

"If it will satisfy you." she grinned as he took the offending can in his hand and gingerly sipped the amber liquid. He swallowed it and managed to hide his grimace as he lowered the can from his lips. She was grinning.

"Well?"

"Budweiser is not on my list of palatable drinks, Emily."

"But it's the King of Beers. See? Says so on the can itself." she was more than a little light headed but far from being drunk. Her face was flushed as she tried to reach out for the can. He held it out of her reach as he began to gather the others up, along with the ice cream carton, and carry them to the kitchen. She slumped dramatically back on the couch as she heard the trash compactor run.

"Man, now what am I supposed to drink?"

There was silence in reply to her answer, and she resumed her humming along with the stereo. Hannibal soon returned with two glasses in his hands, passing one to her as he settled onto the couch beside her. She sniffed it appreciatively and took a sip. The port flowed over her tongue and was pleasantly warm as it flowed down her throat. "Much better." she pronounced.

"I'm glad you find it so. What possessed you to buy that beer, Emily?" he sipped his own glass as she snuggled against him.

"Whiny patients, whiny kids, whiny world. I'm given to urges now and again, you know."

"I know."

She twisted to kiss him briefly and grinned. "Hey, at least I didn't kill anyone."

"Progress indeed." she sipped the port and lounged there, quite comfortable. Hannibal Lecter deemed he needed another glass and rose to pour himself one, Emily remained on the couch, watching and admiring his backside as he left the living room. She was way too happy as the CD clicked over and a new band and song came on the speakers. It only served to cause a wide grin on her face as she hummed along. By the time Dr. Lecter had returned to the living room, Emily was singing full throttle and slightly off key with the Bare Naked Ladies. He was caught between a grimace and laughter as she heaved herself up and started singing along. 

"If I had a million dollars, if I had a million dollars, I'd build a tree fort in our yard. And if I had a million dollars, if I had a million dollars, you could help it wouldn't be that hard. and if I had a million dollars, if I had a million dollars, maybe we could even put a little tiny fridge in there somewhere. And maybe I could direct that old lady over there. Oh, the Bryant Street Theater? Its right up that ladder lady. Welcome, to the Bryant Street Theater, have a Fruit Roll-Up. aren't you gonna eat it? Awww for chrissake!" she doubled over in a fit of giggles at that point, having directed the old lady portion of the song at him, even pretending to hand him a Fruit Roll-Up. She finally collected herself in time for her favorite part of the song. Much to his amusement.

"If I had a million dollars, if I had a million dollars, I'd buy you a green dress, but not a real green dress cause that's cruel! And if I a million dollars, if I had a million dollars, I'd buy you some art! A Picasso or a Garfunkel! And if I had a million dollars, if I had a million dollars, I'd buy you a monkey, haven't you always wanted a monkey?! And if I had a million dollars, I'd buy your love. If I had a million dollars, and if I had a million dollars, and if I had a million dollars, and if I had a million dollars, and if I had a million dollars, I'd be rich!" She once more fell into a fit of laughter, grabbing the remote and hitting the repeat button. She remembered enough the next morning to remember the look on Hannibal's face when she invited him to sing along. 

It was priceless. The eyebrows raised, eyes wide and mouth slightly open as she grabbed him and tried to whirl him in a circle. He had been struck between laughter and dead silence as she had sung to him, hugging tight against his chest. It would have gone on like this too, if she hadn't fallen over the coffee table and dashed her head against the floor. She didn't remember that part though, when Hannibal had mercifully put an end to the song and carried her up the stairs. The headache she awoke with the next morning was horrendous, and she was grateful when he came to her rescue with some pain relievers. She looked at him as he sat on the bed next to her, mischievous humor in his eyes.

"What the hell did I do last night? I feel like I knocked back a six pack or something."

"Almost, but not quite, my dear. Four cans of Budweiser, and a glass of vanilla port."

"Oooooohh. That explains a lot. Anything else?"

He smiled as he shifted, bring a leg up onto the mattress and facing her a bit more fully. "Would you really like to know?"

"Do I have to play games right now? I'm a bit under the weather for that, I think." she grimaced as she took another sip of the water.

"Regretting your actions? Okay, then you tell me what you did."

Oh, yeah, that was just so much more fun. It hurt to think. "Drank, ate ice cream, listened to the stereo. I sang along with something, I think."

"Perhaps if I had a million dollars it would help."

She blinked and grimaced, emitting a low groan. "I was singing again. BNL. Please tell me that you didn't get a tape of it this time."

"Nothing so incriminating, sweet Emily."

"Thank god."

He pushed himself up from the bed, moving towards the door. "Breakfast will be ready in a few minutes if you're feeling up to eating." he chuckled lightly as her stomach betrayed her. She gave him a lopsided grin as she sipped the water glass once again. He was in the doorframe as she slid from the bed, remembering her activities with a giggle.

"Next time, Hannibal Lecter, you're going to sing along. I'll even let you pick the song next time."

He looked back at her with a raised eyebrow as she shuffled off to the bathroom, gingerly touching fingertips to her forehead. He turned away shaking his head, continuing down the hallway.

"Next time you're singing opera." Came his retort as he paused on the stairs. He smiled at hearing the invectives she muttered at the closed bathroom door. What fun it was to have Emily in his life.

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End file.
